How Big is Your Purse?
The few items I carry in my wallet allow me to buy my next meal, show ID at work, or call AAA. That’s all I really need.
photo credit: Tamara Bellis/Unsplash
Seriously, what do you have in there? I’m asking as a man who carries a super-thin wallet.
It’s an old joke that a mom is better prepared than an Eagle Scout for the next act of God, toothache, or head injury. But we cannot afford to joke about this anymore.
Frankly, I’m feeling a little ignorant right now.
I tried to buy my wife a purse last year (spoiler alert: I failed). I clearly didn’t understand that she needs a bag that looks petite but can carry the ENTIRE universe. Naïvely I asked, "how much stuff do you have in there?"
So she gave me a peek inside…
I felt like I discovered a whole new world! Her purse holds shopping lists, to-do lists, errands, bank slips, postage stamps, dry cleaning tickets, a checkbook, and recipe ideas.
While I was gawking she added that her ideal purse needs to be compact enough to keep her from packing “extra” stuff.
Extra stuff? That’s where she lost me.
How much EXTRA stuff could you have?
I admit it: I never carried the insurance cards for the kids. My wife would take them to the doctor so it made sense for her to carry those. Frequent shopper cards for the groceries and the shoe store and Kohl’s? She has those, too. Oh, and the number for the plumber? If I need it (I NEVER need it), I can always just text her for the number.
If I needed to have that much stuff at my fingertips, I would need a carry-on suitcase… with wheels!
So why isn't my wallet thicker? My list of reasons, now that I know better, doesn’t make me feel any prouder:
I work far from the dry cleaner.
I work full-time so I don’t have time to shop or cook dinner.
The bank is closed by the time I’m off work.
I can always get stamps from my wife if I ever need to mail anything.
Home repairs usually happen during the day, so....
Looking down this list shines a huge spotlight on how much of the burden my wife, and most moms, carry.
Who carries all the responsibility for maintaining YOUR HOUSE? How about the errands, doctor visits for the kids, the finances, the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning?
Can we get honest here? #realtalk
Most of the time, moms are doing a lot more than kissing boo-boos. If you are a mom, you probably own the title of the one-who-keeps-the-home-afloat.
Nowadays, you also have to be the multi-tasking educational-physical-nutritional-psychological expert who keeps the kids from death and dismemberment.
And that's not all! The physical contents of your purse are only the tip of the iceberg. When I finally pulled my head out of my… erm, I saw everything differently:
Working moms are
the strongest people.
Listen, I am a working dad. I have a job to do and I carry tons of other responsibilities. But... I get a pass in a lot of ways that women don't get. Since I don't have to carry all the responsibilities that my wife did, it has always been easier for me to keep a balance, even when my kids were little.
My wife -- who does it ALL -- did not have it as easy. She woke up every morning to face a day with no finish line in sight. When she could muster the humor, she joked, “my lists have lists!”
If you want something done right now,
you hand it to the busiest person in the room.
Why is that?
Because she is the MOST CAPABLE.
The working mom is THE ENGINE that powers your family every day from dawn to dusk, then cleans it all up and starts again.
If there is a
straight-up superhero
in our midst, she’s it.
Do you feel like “it’s not worth complaining about” the burnout you feel everyday? We should talk.
Rather than fighting off feelings of anxiety and overwhelm, we help parents to create more joy and satisfaction in their lives.